Life

Your time, support and listening are the greatest gifts you will ever give a child. This is something I learned from my parents.  

Grandma Still Makes Time to Listen

While watching a movie the other night about a divorced family and I got thinking - how I would feel if I did not have my mother and father to count on for direction, strength and support when I was growing-up.  I can't image.  No, it was not easy. I was the oldest and my father was a bit of a Victorian father during the 60's and 70's.  He did not feel his daughters needed to go to a college out-of-state because, "we would just be getting married." His son could go to the university of his choosing since he would eventually be the bread winner. I could not go steady at 14, he was waiting up for me when I would come home from a dates and would flash the front porch lights so I would come in. God forbid the neighbors would see me in the car kissing anyone. Still he always made sure that all my "dreams came true." My mom was the sweet voice of reason that held our lives and the family on course and together. All 4 of us and with a 10 year spread.  Can you image from a 17 year old all the way down to a 7 year old?  How did she balance that? To this day she is a wonderful mediator and still holding us together.

What it must be like to grow up today. Over 60 % of the families in America are split once if not twice.These young people usually lack a positive male role model and sometimes a female one.Their BFF (best favorite friend) appears to be their cell iPhone or android which is with them like a "binky" at all times. They have half-sisters, step-brothers and maybe a full blooded sibling they rarely see because one sibling went with one parent and the other sibling went with the other parent.  

Drugs are being sold to them on buses from the time they start the second grade. They watch their parents smoke pot and take pills at home, but are told they should not do the same. Television, wii, and x-box are the only things talking in the house during dinner, and dinner is usually either whatever the children can find because the single-parent is working a late shift or what the "staff" has be instructed to put out, since the parents will not be home until late - as usual.

The family tapestry in America may be unraveling; this cannot be denied, but the threads are still present if we will only put our iPhone's and androids down, turn off the televisions, and ipads and look up across the table. Talk to your children and then more importantly listen. Whether they be your niece, nephew, young cousin, grandchild or your very own child - give.

Your time, support and listening are the greatest gifts you will ever give a child.

Life

Do you ever stop and wonder how our mothers, fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers did it?  How did they deal with getting older?  I do not recall hearing any of them talk about growing old as I grew up. Now that I am well on my way to "older", it bothers me how much talk about aging there is and how many drugs are being pushed for every ailment one could imagine. I also find the "I'm Ok, Your Ok" generation not all that "OK!" We share and complain about each pain and every aliment .  Headaches, migraines, joint aches, colds, flu, we share it all. When was the last time you went through an entire day where everyone you spoke with was "doing great"? What are we missing? Why is it that as we get older, we complain and medicate more than all the past generations combined?

My step grandfather Marshall said once, "Getting old ain't for sissies!" He was born in Oklahoma when it was still a territory, rode the rails from the time he was 14 years of age and work for Southern Pacific all of his life.  He was 70+ when he married my Grandmother - Elsie. Marshall managed our ranch outside of Cash, Texas for nearly ten years and was amazing. He never complained about arthritis, eye-sight going or any other alignment. He was thrilled  to be working with his hands and doing most of that work in the Texas outdoors. Marshall had a severe stroke in his mid-80's but fought his way back and I do mean fought.  Marshall also had macular degeneration of the eyes (basically blind) and had to live his remaining 10 years in a wheel charge. This would be pretty depressing for most of us, least of all a man who had been active and independent all of his life. He use to push himself backwards down the hall to the dining room and asked you to help his bride (my grandmother) with her chair. If you offered to help him, he would say, "no thanks - just don't need it."  Marshall listened to the radio each and every day. Stayed current on sports, politics and life.  You could ask him anything and he knew the latest and usually had some sound thoughts to go along with what he knew.  Being blind and having to struggle back from a stroke did not stop him from living life and learning. He was amazing.


My father-in-law Bob Webb was the same way.  A Milwaukee boy through and through. He was a Captain of the County fire department and could do just about anything. If he did not know something, he would walk down to the public library and look it up. He loved to walk and Bob walked over 4 miles each and every day. During his late 70's, Bob required surgery due to a melanoma tumor located behind his eye. The day of the surgery Bob took the bus to the hospital, had the surgery and when they went to release him the staff asked if his ride had come for him.  Now we all know they do not release you from the hospital without someone there to attend to you; but not ole Bobby!  He was a clever fellow. Bob told them his ride would be there in a moment. The nurse left him in the wheel chair by the door for a moment and when she turned her back, he slipped out and rode the bus home to his wife Ethel.  You know, he never told any of this to us at the time and to this day, I am not all together sure Ethel knew what he had done either. Never a complaint, never a word about  a melanoma being found, he just took care of business.  The melanoma reappeared , this time in his neck when he was 92.  Shortly after this discovery, one afternoon he saw a regional event for The US Olympics for Senior Citizens.  He walked to the field, signed up, qualified for the high jump, and made it to the Nationals in Kentucky where he received the Silver medal for the high jump. That was the fall of 2005, he died January 2006. What amazing way to live ones life.

Marshall and Bob were remarkable men to me. Both fought in World War II, both were self-taught, and both were kind men. They were generous with their knowledge, kind in their thoughts and shared their love of life.  Maybe that is it - maybe we need to stop dealing with life and start living it.  Perhaps it is our attitude that needs to be adjusted and not our bodies.  What if we gave of ourselves a little more and spoke (texted or emailed) a little less? Perhaps we might not feel so bad, so often.

Other Things

So how did your morning start today? Kids crying, cup of coffee, long commute?  While in the shower did you run a video of what lies ahead or did you stand quiet, warm water running down the back as you actually felt your body speak?

Sometimes I think the key to life is choice: How do we choose to see the morning, the day or our lives?  Here is how Ralph Waldo Emerson saw it...

"I see the spectacle of morning from the hilltop over against my house, from daybreak to sunrise, with emotions which an angel might share.  The long slender bars of cloud float like fishes in the sea of crimson light.  From the earth, as a shore, I look out into that silent sea. I seem to partake its rapid transformations; the active enchantment reaches my dust, and I delight and conspire with the morning wind."

What do you choose to see today?  Why not try something new.  Leave the radio off while driving, sit in the silence of your commute, listen to your tires as they role beneath you and look, really look at your world.  If someone is angry that passes, smile and wish them a better moment.  It is not as difficult as you may think to make  new choices or create a new morning. You might be surprised at how your day unfolds.

Politics 2012 and OZ

Tonight, as I lay on the sofa, my husband in his chair and Bogart (the dog) by my side, I listened as Brian Williams and Ted Koppel of NBC's  - Rock Center discuss the brilliant vote created by our Supreme Court in 2010. The Rock Center discussed Super PAC'S . This vote/decision of wisdom allows anyone running for the most important position in this great country - President, an open door of opportunity for yet more financial fraud and corruption. It allows candidates with clear conscious, to look directly  into your eye and say, "I have nothing to do with that organization." This organization is called a Super PAC and is actually the army of political marketers working behind the scenes, to puppet your vote for a specific candidate, their special interests and with unlimited funds at their disposal.  

I believe I have seen this movie before, but they called it The Wizard of Oz!  What was it he said to Dorothy, "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...I AM the great and powerful OZ!" For those of you too young to have seen the movie - rent it!

Question: "Do those involved in these campaigns and their machines, really take us to be the Brainless Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion or the Heartless Tin Man?" Do they actually trust, we are so dumb as to not see what they are doing, that we do not have enough courage to stand up and say, "go back and find new candidates that ARE acceptable to vote for," or that we have not enough heart for this great country to close down her old electoral process and construct a new one; one with no doors for moral or financial corruption?  It is sad to say, but I  really think they do. 

I have listened to so many as of late, consider leaving this great country, their homeland and even their grandchildren.  People who have fought or who's fathers' and grandfathers' have fought for these United States and her democracy.  They pay their taxes, obey the laws - ALL of the them, and do not think themselves above the law.  Perhaps it is time these politicians and their "machines" take heed and make note of who is standing at the polls this year and remember this: The Scarecrow got his brain, the Tin Man his heart and the Lion his courage and oh yes...in the end, they were in charge of Oz! 

Life

At this stage of life it is difficult to explain why I am on this computer, creating this blog, but in simplest terms - I was inspired.   Like so many my age, I watch the nightly news and walk away an hour later saying, "Really!  That is all they can tell us about the world tonight? Really!"  With all this technology today, I find it hard to believe that those who are in charge of programing can only tell us about a Nike frenzy by Christmas shoppers.

When my children were young the Christmas frenzy was for a "Glo Worm".  I had to have two (one for each child) and engaged in-laws and parents alike in this quest to not disappoint  - so when hasn't there been a Christmas frenzy and when DID it become newsworthy?  Disappointment sets in each night until Sunday morning.

On Sunday morning we look forward to CBS Sunday Morning and if you have never experienced it I hope you will soon.  It is a civilized, educational and entertaining format for recapping the week of news, arts, history, science and more.  By the end of the program, you are inspired and reminded of the greatness, generosity and creativity in each of us. As Mikey said, "Try it, you'll like it!"